Pride...

I’m writing to you from the comfort of a first class carriage on the East Midlands rail service to Derby. May I take this opportunity to inform you that Virgin trains are much better. Kudos to Sir Richard Branson – your trains and broadband are the bollocks. I shall be spending the next two days at Pride Park, home of Derby County Football Club. Sadly, my job has nothing to do with football and so my visit involves massaging the egos of a few senior finance professionals within the NHS. The journey up is a pleasant one, passing through endless, beautiful English countryside and munching on my Pret chicken and avocado sandwich. Who’d have thought, chicken and avocado, together. Genius.

Despite losing at TopGolf to my jungle friend, Katharine, my weekend was far more tolerable than most in recent times. That’s right, Arsenal won. For most football fans, the smug satisfaction of seeing your team win on a Saturday afternoon sets the weekend up rather nicely. And this is exactly what happened – a pleasant change.

Arsenal were home to Bolton Wanderers on Saturday and historically this has been a tough fixture for us. Under Owen Coyle Bolton appear to be slightly less physical than the teams of the past led by Fat Sam Allardyce. God I hate Allardyce, the obese walrus. Quite frankly, Bolton’s form this year has been woeful hence their position at the foot of the table. I must admit, all week I thought this would be a score-draw. Only with the unexpected omission of both Kevin Davies and Gary Cahill from their starting line up (the latter perhaps having a medical in time for his January transfer), I became more confident and so predicted a 3-0 home win – much to the amazement of fellow fans.

You never really know which Arsenal will turn up to games these days. Similar to Blackburn last week, we saw the good and the bad Arsenal and fortunately for us, we missed out on the ugly. The first half was dire. Szczesny produced a magnificent save in the opening minutes to deny Bolton an early lead and we struggled to get going. Lacking sharpness the players looked flat with wayward passes and as far as I can remember, we couldn’t manage a single shot on target. An extremely small minority met the half-time whistle with boos – something which disgusts me and evidently my friend, Dimi, who made his feelings known in no uncertain terms, ‘Don’t f*cking boo the players you useless c*nts!!’. Haha.

My 3-0 prediction seemed highly unlikely at the interval and as the Gunners stormed out on to the pitch early for the second half, I felt confident again. Marching out earlier than required sent out a message to the fans and to the opponents that we had a point to prove. We flew out of the blocks, with two sharp challenges from Rambo and Arteta. Quickly controlling possession we played the ball to RVP who danced across the box before ramming home Arsenal’s first, beating Jussi Jaaskelainen at his near post. His second – touched home after a low cross from the excellent Theo Walcott – put paid to Bolton. To make things worse for our opponents, Bolton were reduced to ten for a clumsy last-man challenge by David Wheater on Walcott.

Only when Alex Song curled home a gorgeous third in the final minute were we able to relax. RVP went off to a standing ovation and the Dutchman celebrates 100 goals for Arsenal Football Club. My personal favourite would be the incredible volley at Charlton – that strike will last in my memory forever. I was disappointed to hear Alan Hansen decry Robin Van Persie as our captain and leader, claiming that ‘he doesn’t lead by example’. Err… Mr. Hansen, RVP has scored 26 goals in his last 31 appearances for Arsenal and apart from Tommy V, he is the first player that you can imagine trying to knock the shite out of the opposition:

What more do you want a captain to do, sleep with players’ wives (Terry), or bash up people in bars (Gerard), or fight with team-mates (Barton)? Meh.

This week sees us pit our wits against Greek champions, Olympiacos. If we repeat our performance of the second half against Bolton, I think we’ll be OK. It’s important we build on our result in Germany and pick up three points. And then, it’s the big one. The North London Derby. There are so many reasons why I hate Tottenham. Their twat of a manager, arrogant and obnoxious fans, dump of a ground and now… Adebayor. If I’m being honest, I think I’d take a draw as we’d have played two big games by Sunday and the twitch-master would have been able to rest their lot for their giant Europa clash against some part-time farmers from the Faroe Islands on ITV7+2. All that I ask from my Arsenal is a performance based on passion and pride. Spurs: forever in our shadows.

Finally, I was pleased to be part of the 47,000 that turned up to watch us beat Shrewsbury in the Carling Cup last week, courtesy of my friend, Joanne Foster - some coverage of both of us on SkySports:

I’ve seen a lot of promising youngsters in my time but last Tuesday night I saw two players that made me feel the same tingle I felt when I first saw Fabregas in his no. 57 shirt. Ryo Miyaichi (31) and Alex ‘The Ox’ Chamberlain (15) look the part, the former will be electric. Mark my words.

Much love x

''I would 8-2 to be Arsenal fan...''

The last time Facebook was inundated with a single status update was when Michael Jackson died. For a few days now, people have been having digs at Arsenal with the aforementioned headline as status updates, tweets and the rest. Needless to say, such comments hurt. It’s been a tough few months for us and as it’s unlikely to get any easier in the run up to Christmas, brace yourselves, Gooners - the abuse is going to get worse!

Having said all this, there’s no smoke without fire. If we sorted ourselves out during the summer and had we not defended like retards at Old Trafford, or at Ewood Park yesterday, there’d be nothing to be unhappy about. The recent criticism aimed towards the manager and players is totally deserved and they have a lot to answer for.

Truth be told, I’m not sure what to think anymore. I have consistently delivered a staunch defence of the manager, the club and even some of our players in recent times but now I’m so confused. So many fans have seen this coming for so long that I wonder.. how have I been blind all this time, did I fall asleep on my Arsenal-tinted glasses, has my love for Arsene Wenger faded? I don’t know.

Our last sixteen Premier League games have returned just sixteen points. Only three wins and a severely depleted goal difference. In fact, a measly five points from our opening league games this season has equalled our worst start to a domestic campaign since 1953. Worrying times? You bet.

Our performance at Ewood Park yesterday was just so typical. Mesmerising going forward, opening up Blackburn with ease at times. We had twenty efforts on goal as the away team and managed to score three goals. Our midfield trio of Arteta, Song and Ramsey were top draw and they looked so comfortable on the ball. Unfortunately, the second half highlighted our defensive frailties and we were beaten with ease again. Admittedly, we scored two own goals and Yakubu’s second was marginally off-side, but this is no excuse. We’re simply not ruthless enough going forward and we’ve forgotten how to defend.

I wrote in my first post that we are tactically inept off the ball and that we would need to work hard on our defensive inadequacies during the summer. As good as Per Mertesacker may be in Football Manager, we showed yesterday that we have severe inability when it comes to defending as a team. These are training ground issues and should have been addressed pre-season. The fact that nothing has changed or improved is down to Arsene and his coaching staff. When you consider the fact that Sir Alex Ferguson has had 4 different assistant managers during his tenure, you can’t help but wonder why we have stuck with the same deadwood since 1997/98. Pat Rice has been a loyal servant but surely now, it’s time for change.

Attention turns to Shrewsbury this week in the Carling Cup, more painful memories to banish so lets hope we can progress to the next round.

I've made my feelings known to a few of my close friends and I received the following text message this morning;

‘OMG!, it’s you who keeps us all going when we are down :( xx’

My response? ''I have been to Manchester and to the other side of North London, to Liverpool and to Milan, to Madrid and countless other bastions of footballing excellence and stood on their terraces beating my chest as we destroyed great teams week after week. Arsenal Football Club has given me those memories and ultimately, any amount of bad results or half-arsed performances will never take that away. I support my club because that’s what I was born to do and the shitter we get, the louder I will sing''.

Onwards and upwards...

I am in no condition to write today. It’s GFP week. In layman’s terms, this is basically a week of carnage in which FK (and others) host c100 students on various nights out. Mental.

In fact, I’m so busy that I even missed our opening Champions League game away to German champions, Borussia Dortmund but more about that later. After yet another fortnight of boring international matches, domestic affairs resumed on Saturday afternoon with a 3pm fixture versus Premiership newcomers, Swansea City.

On paper, this would have looked a home-banker but the tie proved trickier than some might have imagined. Armed with new players, fans’ expectations were high and there was a fresh buzz around the Emirates prior to kick-off…

 

Considering our most recent footballing memory was the demolition at OT, I thought we started well. My new man crush, Mikey Arteta, with an almost immediate impact as he played in Rambo for an early chance. Swansea, brave in their play, battled hard and fought well succumbing only to a calamitous goal conceded just before the break. The ball was rolled out by their keeper only to ricochet off a defender’s leg and fall straight to Andrei Arshavin who passed it into an empty net from a very acute angle. The game ended 1-0 and whilst it’s not a convincing score, it’s three points. The same three points you would get for winning 5-0. Don’t also underestimate the morale booster that is a clean sheet!

Tuesday marked the start of the Champions League. Don’t you just love the music? It turns me on. A lot. With Tommy V, Ramsey and Rosicky added to our injury list there was a very welcome return to action for discipline-dummies, Alex Song and Gervinho. Dortmund were going to be tough and according to match reports from friends, they ran us ragged in front of 79,999 fans and one Arsenal nutcase – my mate, Dimi. Respect, my little Greek/Turk friend!

I was surprised to see Yossi Benayoun in the starting line-up and apparently he wasn't of much use. I would have liked to see Arsene try:

 

 

In the little I have seen of Emmanuel Frimpong thus far, I am impressed with his energy levels, work-rate and body strength. He and Song could form a strong, combative partnership enabling Arteta to roam further forward. Just a thought.

Very much against the run of play, we took the lead through yet another sublime finish, courtesy of skipper, Robin Van Persie. His form has been scintillating since the turn of the year and one can only wonder what could have been had he not been so injury prone during recent seasons. Dortmund kept knocking and knocking and we defended very well until the 88^th minute when substitute, Perisic, blasted home with an unbelievable equaliser. All in all, a fair result and a good start for us.

On to Blackburn at Ewood Park this weekend. Unable to attend myself due to yet another wedding. Seriously, when will people realise that getting married pre-season is the only time to get married! As for the game, I think it’ll be tough but I reckon we’ll sneak a narrow victory. Lying at the foot of the table, Rovers are already in trouble and their fans are protesting against their manager only 4 games in. If there was ever a time to play them, it would be now. Sadly, something tells me that Arsenal summer targets, Samba and Dann, may just have the games of their lives. Typical.

Until next time, much love my fellow Gooners.

In the Mik of time...

Wow. What an incredible few days for Arsenal Football Club.

It all started in Udine, a battling performance against the second oldest club in Serie A, Udinese Calcio. With Champions League football at stake it was a must-win game. Following the home defeat against Liverpool, Gooners (including myself) were not overly optimistic so the hard-fought victory was very welcome as it marks the end of a month of unrelenting negativity around the club. May I take this opportunity to thank Wojciech Szczesny for a legendary penalty save and the Hussons for hosting us – feasting on the colonel’s finest and cheering on the boys like a family is how it should be. And sorry Mrs H for ruining your toilet.

So, our seat at Europe’s top table has been booked for the fifteenth year running. Quite incredible, particularly as only Barcelona and Manchester United can boast the same feat. The draw will see us host German champions, Borussia Dortmund, French runners-up, Olympique de Marseille, and Greek champions, Olympiacos. Very exciting.

In typical Arsenal fashion, the season then took an almighty turn into darkness. From the highs of securing football with Europe’s elite, to the lows of being destroyed by Manchester United at Old Trafford.

Off we set, up the M1. ‘We’, being the usual suspects; Yeamilson, Dimi and FK along with a great friend, Jimbo, who is one of very few humble United fans – but then again, I am his boss. The M1 was glittered with red scarves hanging out windows and people dressed in red all heading to Manchester. Such a beautiful sight until you realise they’re ALL United fans. No wonder M&S are increasing their presence at service stations – sales of prawn sandwiches have gone through the roof.

I’ve been to Old Trafford several times. Historically, I’ve normally been quietly confident and always full of hope but on this occasion, I felt the writing was on the wall. Our lack of transfer activity during the summer coupled with several injuries and suspensions to key players meant fielding a weakened eleven. Upon hearing the line-ups, our predictions were as follows.. Dimi, possibly the most optimistic Gooner I know had us down to lose 2-1, Yeamilson 3-0 Utd and me, 4-0 Utd. Jimbo says he never makes predictions but headed off to the Stretford End after smugly telling us ‘it was the best possible time to play Arsenal’. Needless to say, he was very confident and we were bricking it.

The game was incredible, almost surreal. We were pummelled and the huge gaps in our squad had been brutally exposed. Despite an abject defensive performance, huge credit must go to our opponents, they smelt blood and ruthlessly ripped us apart. We just couldn’t cope. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Wayne Rooney is an incredible team player. His movement on and off the ball, his unbelievable work-rate is an inspiration to all – characters like this drive the team on and how we lack someone of his calibre.

The vocal support from my fellow Emirati was quite exceptional. The chants of ‘I love you Arsenal’ became louder and louder after every goal conceded. It was one of the most remarkable things I’ve experienced inside a football stadium. We sang our hearts out. I think enough has been said about the performance and result - journalists and pundits have taken this opportunity to really lay into us, as have so many non-Arsenal fans. It hurts. However, my message to those, particularly the latter, if you can give it… be prepared to take it, because we will be back.

The club has offered to reward all those who travelled with a free away-ticket later in the season. A kind gesture but I’d much rather the money is used to purchase new players! I hear Spurs are putting their entire squad up for sale as well as their Championship-class ground to compensate their fans for the past 50 years of failure.

Speaking of new players, Wednesday was transfer deadline day. In recent years, such days have filled us with envy. This time, it was all about Arsenal. I can’t remember a day like it. Why the club left its business so late is beyond me but there was a desperate need to add to our squad. I would have liked a left-back, a centre-back (preferably Gary Cahill), an attacking midfielder and the icing on top being a centre-forward.

As it happens, Arsene has done exactly that, just not with players I had in mind or would have liked. I’m most excited by the signing of Mikel Arteta. Those of you who know me will know that I have fantasized about having him in our team for several years. Kudos to Joe Husson for tipping us off about this deal well before it happened. Mikel will be our new no. 8 and let’s hope he can overcome injury to rescue us.

People say Arsene has panic bought – it certainly feels like it, but knowing that our scouts have watched players like Scott Dann over 50 times, proves to me that those who have come in won’t be impromptu purchases. The signing of Park Chu Young strikes me as an odd one though, does it have anything to do with the tour of Korea the club has planned for next summer? Let’s not forget the fact that he will be summoned for national service in two years’ time! Smells of a commercial ploy to me.

The international break is, as usual, not welcome and a complete waste of time. Roll on the 10^th, Swansea are in for a thorough examination - I can imagine Tommy V and Per (The BFG – Big Fucking German) Mertesacker licking their lips in eager anticipation.