Arsene knew...

What an interesting few months. I like to describe it as, a lucky escape. No, I’m not talking about football, I’m talking about my now ‘ex’. What a lunatic... total fruitcake, but I’ll tell you about her another day.

Welcome to my final post of the season. My ‘review of the season’, if you will, and my hopes for the future. It’s difficult to avoid clichés when looking back at Arsenal’s season. It has been, simply, a rollercoaster ride but with a familiar ending.

Arsenal FC 2011-12 Season Review…

It’s amazing how a team can be so unpredictable. Over the past ten months, the team has been beset by near relegation form, at others it strings together a winning run worthy of champions. After a calamitous summer in which we lost our captain, our left-back and an influential, sometimes brilliant, midfielder, we had a terrible start to the season, losing four of our first seven matches including the 8-2 mauling at Old Trafford. Speaking of which, I was there and I remember the taunts all the way home (and for many days to follow), ‘oh I’d 8-2 to be an Arsenal fan’ – karma works in funny ways – United lost the league due to an inferior goal difference of, would you believe, 8 goals.

Arsenal won six straight league games in October/November which included the epic 5-3 victory over Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. I’ve been to many away games in my time but this ranks as the best ever. I still laugh upon remembering John Terry being left on his knees chewing grass like a donkey when RVP raced away to put us in the lead before lashing home his hat-trick goal to make it 5! This run saw us climb the table from 17^th to 7^th. So-called ‘experts’ and media pundits had called for Arsene’s head, claiming that he’d lost the plot and that Arsenal were finished. ‘Arry Redknapp even suggested that the spuds could become London’s top club. Mugs. I’m ashamed to admit that a small minority of our fans also turned on Arsene using slogans such as ‘In Arsene We Rust’. Embarrassing.

Further impressive victories away at Wigan and Villa and RVP’s goal of the season winner against Everton at the Emirates in between, put us in good stead but nothing could prepare us for what was about to follow. In the space of a few days, we lost not one, not two, not even three but all four full-backs to injury which crippled us in the new year. We lost every league game in January and were then pummelled by Milan at the San Siro in what was the worst Arsenal performance I can remember in recent history.

With the North London Derby just days away, my thoughts turned into worries and my hope quickly turned to prayers but Bacary Sagna had other ideas, ‘we play Tottenham this weekend; they are the enemy - we cannot lose.’

What followed was quite incredible. 2-0 down after 35 minutes and the fans feared for the worst. Cue derby-day demolition. Sagna, RVP, Rosicky and a quick-fire double from Theo saw the Gunners smash five past the enemy. Spurs and Twitchmeister had no idea what hit them. North London is, and always will be, RED.

The victory spurred us on (see what I did there? clever) to an impressive run of consecutive wins which took us from 7^th to 3^rd, including a memorable day out at Anfield and impressive wins against Everton at Goodison and Newcastle at the Emirates. These last two games were won by goals from vice-captain, Tommy Vermaelen, who has been subject to some unfair criticism in recent weeks. Moans about how he roams forward gung-ho leaving obvious gaps at the back don’t sit well with me. I don’t think it’s his fault. It’s exactly those gambles which won us several points during the course of the season and other team-mates ought to be intelligent enough to cover him.

A home-defeat and a ‘thrilling-yet-frustrating’ home-draw against Wigan and Norwich respectively, saw us drop points in the run in to the final day of the season. Away to West Brom, Woy Hodgeson’s farewell match before England duty and a chance to secure Champions League funding again. It was fitting that Laurent Koscielny scored the winner at The Hawthorns – the most improved defender in the league, has fought bravely for Arsenal all season-long. Love our Larry.

As the final whistles blew around the country, the Premier League season came to an end. As expected, City won the league, Arsenal finished in a Champions League spot and we also continued our tradition of finishing above the scum. Incidentally, these obvious predictions won me several bets this year (mostly from deluded United and Spurs fans) - for anyone who still owes me winnings, my offer to accept a letter of written apology for doubting my prowess as a football genius, still stands.

In conclusion, considering the transfer debacle back in August, the awful start to the season, losing all full-backs for almost six weeks after Christmas, the media hype surrounding Arsene’s future and our ability, finishing 3^rd is satisfying. I do wonder whether this was more due to Arsenal’s strengths or our rivals’ failures. Some interesting points to mull over:

§  We finished 19 points behind the Champions

§  We conceded 49 goals in the league (only 4 less than Villa!)

§  Almost a third of our league goals were assisted by Song & Theo

§  Squad’s average age of 25 is youngest in Premier League

FK Arsenal Awards of Season…

Best Players

1.     Mikel Arteta (A simple, effective midfielder. Pulled all the strings by controlling the midfield, energetic and full of drive and determination, box-to-box and deliciously handsome).

2.     RVP (No explanation required, though many of you will wonder why no.2? Well, he’s an outstanding goalscorer – of this, there is no doubt but without the supply, he wouldn’t be half the player, hence Arteta no.1).

3.     Larry Koscielny (With exception to Vidic, the best defender in the league. In 29 of 33 league games he played, Arsenal kept 15 clean sheets conceding only one goal in the other 14, you’ll never beat him 1v1).

 Beautiful

Best Goals

1.     RVP v Liverpool (Anfield) – the pass, the finish, the timing, the venue. Boom.

2.     RVP v Everton (Emirates) – unbelievable volleying tekkers, super pass from Song. Magic.

3.     TV5 v Newcastle (Emirates) – Quick counter-attack, TV5’s driving run from his own box. Krul.

Best Game

We’ve had a few this year, the 5-2 mauling of Spurs, 3-0 win over Milan, 2-1 last-gasp victory at Anfield.. but for me, it has to be the away-day 5-3 win at Stamford Bridge. The 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford, by far the craziest game I’ve ever been to, will always haunt me for obvious reasons but our fans’ reaction by singing non-stop until the end made me proud to be a Gooner.

Best Moment

Thierry Henry’s winner against Leeds in the FA Cup at the Emirates. Quite unbelievable to see him come back, come on, bang home the winner in typical fashion. I remember everything; the pass from Song, the expectation as soon as TH12 took one touch and opened up his body, the roar of the crowd when the ball nestled in the bottom corner of the net and the stadium announcer going nuts. That night will stay with me for a long, long time.

Just in case the great man ever reads this: merci et au revoir, Titi x

Summer

RVP

Everyone seems to be an expert on RVP’s contract scenario and depending who you talk to, he’s either buying soft-furnishings for his new home in Manchester, or being told by his mum to sign at Arsenal, or secretly hiding in Arsene’s house holding him hostage until new signings are made. Truth is, nobody knows. Only RVP knows what he wants and whatever decision he makes I will respect. My opinion? Well, obviously, I would like him to stay. However, at 28/29 he has two, possibly three more top seasons left in him and he’s unlikely to better last season. Furthermore, when you consider that before this season he has played less than 200 games in 7 years, due to high injury proneness, is it unreasonable to consider selling him for £20m+?

Transfers

We need players. Simple as. However, we need to let a few go before we can buy! Almunia has left but Diaby, Bendtner, Denilson, Chamakh, Djorou, Squillaci, Fabianski, Vela and Park all remain on the club’s hefty payroll. Delighted about Podolski coming in, and I have fallen for the Twitter rumours about Yann M’Vila (more through hope than anything else), because a £16.5m deal for this guy on a 4/5 year contract is immense business for us. I’d also like a defender, both Vertonghen and Sakho remain possibilities, and a decent no.2 goalkeeper – Craig Gordon and Jussi Jaaskelainen are obvious candidates. Looks like it’ll be a long summer, Gooners. Let’s just hope the club learnt from last year’s mistakes.

What an incredible season. Highs, lows, tears, tantrums, hopes, fear, joy and ecstasy all rolled into one season and best of all, Arsene knew we’d be OK. You know, like seasons, women come and go but Arsenal FC is my one true love – always there for me as I am for them X

And that, my friends, is that. It’s been an absolute pleasure writing all season and I wish you all the very best for the future. Much love and good night!!

X

The Final Countdown...

2.20am. Sore hamstrings. Been re-enacting some of RVP’s finest goals from this season in the garden this evening in eager anticipation for tomorrow’s road-trip to West Bromwich Albion. I can’t bring myself to go to sleep and now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain…

The title race, Champions League qualification and relegation will be determined by the last round of matches in what has been the most unpredictable and enthralling season since English football was redefined in 1992. In fact, this current Premier League campaign was this week voted the best of its 20-year existence and today is set to provide a fitting finale.

As I write this, I am filled with mixed emotion; excitement, anxiety, fear and hope to name but a few. The thought of finishing below Tottenham sends shivers down my spine – surely we’re not that bad? The league table shows that we currently hold a slender advantage heading to West Brom in the race for third but our challenge has become more difficult with the Hawthorns ready to give Roy Hodgson an emotional farewell before he takes charge of England.

Twitchmeister’s Spurs lie waiting to pounce on any opportunity with a London derby against Martin Jol’s Fulham at White Hart Lane before them, while Newcastle are a point further back and face the toughest task in requiring nothing less than victory at Everton.

WBA away is a nerve jangler. The Norwich game showed just how willing we are to press the self-destruct button. Having managed to go 3-2 up after trailing the Canaries for much of the game, we failed to see out the final eight minutes without conceding. Inexplicably, we lost out shape entirely and were ultimately the architects of our own downfall. Alex Song had possession in midfield and instead of playing a simple pass either sideways or backwards, he tried something too clever and gifted Norwich the ball. Gibbs was caught out by the ball through to Morrison who lashed home the equaliser. A stupid, stupid goal to concede. Fortunately for us, Spurs bottled it at Villa Park the next day and so we have one final chance at guaranteeing 3^rd place but there’s little margin for error.

Upon consideration of our current injury problems, the team perhaps picks itself - with only one or two decisions for Arsene to make:

The biggest decision for me is who to play as wide men. It seems Gervinho’s been out of sorts since his return from the African Cup of Nations but I think he had glimmers of his best out on the left against Norwich. He’s quick & skilful and even boasts more goals and assists than a certain Bobby Pires had in his first season in England - just saying! Rumours are that Theo has travelled and passed part one of his fitness test but I’d probably keep him on the bench and go for The Ox out wide on the right. Despite Benayoun’s impressive recent form, I would go for The Ox purely because of his explosive pace which would pose a great threat to the Baggies’ defence.

It’s a must-win game. We can’t rely on others to bottle it again so our focus has to be right from the first whistle. The players need hunger, passion and desire. Despite the fact that Albion have lost nine games at the Hawthorns this season (only the bottom three have a worse record), they have conceded only 19 goals at home, the same as title contenders, Manchester United. The Baggies have beaten us just once in 39 years on home turf so let’s hope this run continues!

Finally, our skipper, RVP, has the chance to be celebrating more than just Champions League qualification if things go his way in our final match of the season. Various goal-scoring records are potentially within reach for the recently-crowned Footballer of the Year and they are worth noting. One more goal would see him equalling the all-time Premier League record for a 38-game season of 31, achieved by Alan Shearer in 1995-96 and Cristiano Ronaldo in 2007-08. It would also create a new club record for Arsenal in a 38-game season, taking him one clear of Thierry Henry, who scored 30 for The Invincibles of 2003-04. Remarkable.

I wrote on 14 August 2011 that I thought Arsenal would finish top four, above Spurs, and that Manchester City would win the title - I still believe this, so fingers crossed it will be a fitting end to what has been a gripping drama from the very start.

COME ON YOU RED MEN…

Love,

XX

Squeaky Bum Time…

Salutations, distinguished friends.

I’ve never thought of myself as materialistic but as I type this, I’m sporting Tommy Hilfiger glasses, a Gant jumper, a Ralphy tee, Diesel jeans, Gant socks, and a pair of Dunes. Interesting. Anyway, lots of random things to get through so I’m diving straight in.

Race for Champions League

Well, well, well.. Hasn’t it just got interesting. Arsenal were down and out. Media ‘experts’ were calling for Arsene’s head. Ex-players and pundits were convinced Arsene had lost his marbles. What do they know, eh? With two MASSIVE games to go, this is how the contenders stand:

(Source: Arseblog)

Looks nice that. Ahead of the yids. Ahead of the chavs. Need it to stay this way. Laaavly. We kick off the penultimate round of games tomorrow with a lunch-time clash against The Canaries. At the start of the season I’d have picked this game as a home-banker but they’ve done really well this year under Paul Lambert and pose a serious threat to our Champions League hopes for next season –just ask Tottenscum. If ever there was a time for a convincing win, it’s now. With many players missing through injury we’re up against it tomorrow but I’m feeling confident and let’s hope RVP can lead us to another valuable three points.

Interestingly, I think Arsenal [Norwich(h) & West Brom(a)], Spurs [Villa(a) & Fulham(h)] and Newcastle [City(h) & Everton(a)] will all drop points in these last two rounds of matches, with both North London rivals bagging 4 points and the Magpies picking up just one, so fingers crossed we get 3^rd.

Title Race

I have enormous respect for Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United. I think he’s done an unbelievable job winning title after title and has secured himself as the most successful manager in the history of English football. They play the right way, they do things the right way and they conduct themselves magnificently as representatives of the English Premier League when playing in Europe. They also produced Gary Neville, my latest man-crush (though obviously for his punditry) – what a goalgasm! ‘’UN-believable!’’

In the blue corner, whilst I obviously dislike the way Nasri left Arsenal, for me, City have the strongest squad on paper. I’m no gynaecologist, but I know a cunny when I see one - Carlos Tevez. He had let down his manager, his team-mates and most importantly, his fans after refusing to come on as a substitute earlier in the season. He then went AWOL for almost five months but has now returned acting as if he’s done nothing wrong.

I tipped Manchester City at the start of the season and I suppose I have to stick with them – but this isn’t so hard for one reason, and one reason only; my hatred for the majority of United fans. So many of these ‘fans’ have never even been to OT, rarely watch United play, don’t know anything about the club’s history, don’t know much about football to be honest, yet they bask in the glory of the club’s success. Am I jealous? Totally. The day will come when old whisky-face retires, the Glazers run with their money and they are no longer winning trophies – we shall see how many of those fans remain.

Transfers

Contrary to last summer’s madness, Arsene has already got his cheque book out, announcing a £10.9m deal for Lukas Podolski. Those who know me well will know that he’s genuinely one of my favourite players - bit like Giovanni Van Bronckhorst when he joined us from Glasgow Rangers. It’s a statement of intent and hopefully one more reason for RVP to sign that new deal.

I’ve written in previous blogs that we need to trim the fat from this squad and until this happens I can’t see too much room for new transfers; Almunia, Mannone, Squillaci, Chamakh, Park, Benayoun, Bendtner, Denilson, Diaby & Arshavin must be sold or destroyed, before we start dreaming about signing the likes of  Jan Vertonghen, Yann M/Vila and/or Eden Hazard. What is important is that Arsenal do their business swiftly and ideally before the Euros.

Finally...

Us Gooners talk a lot about Arsenal legends; Henry, Bergkamp, Vieira, Adams, Wright to name but a few. One perhaps we don’t appreciate as much as we should do is still at the club – Pat Rice.

Pat joined The Arsenal back in 1964 as an apprentice and made his debut just three years later. He made 528 appearances as right-back (only 7 of these as a substitute) across 14 glittering years. His proudest moment was captaining the team in 1977 and leading the club to FA Cup glory in 1979. In sixteen years as Arsene’s right hand man, Pat has helped guide us to three league titles, four FA Cups, various European finals and that ‘Invincibles’ season.

For almost 44 of the last 48 years, this man has bled red & white and for that we should be eternally grateful.

Thank you, Pat.