Arsene knew...

What an interesting few months. I like to describe it as, a lucky escape. No, I’m not talking about football, I’m talking about my now ‘ex’. What a lunatic... total fruitcake, but I’ll tell you about her another day.

Welcome to my final post of the season. My ‘review of the season’, if you will, and my hopes for the future. It’s difficult to avoid clichés when looking back at Arsenal’s season. It has been, simply, a rollercoaster ride but with a familiar ending.

Arsenal FC 2011-12 Season Review…

It’s amazing how a team can be so unpredictable. Over the past ten months, the team has been beset by near relegation form, at others it strings together a winning run worthy of champions. After a calamitous summer in which we lost our captain, our left-back and an influential, sometimes brilliant, midfielder, we had a terrible start to the season, losing four of our first seven matches including the 8-2 mauling at Old Trafford. Speaking of which, I was there and I remember the taunts all the way home (and for many days to follow), ‘oh I’d 8-2 to be an Arsenal fan’ – karma works in funny ways – United lost the league due to an inferior goal difference of, would you believe, 8 goals.

Arsenal won six straight league games in October/November which included the epic 5-3 victory over Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. I’ve been to many away games in my time but this ranks as the best ever. I still laugh upon remembering John Terry being left on his knees chewing grass like a donkey when RVP raced away to put us in the lead before lashing home his hat-trick goal to make it 5! This run saw us climb the table from 17^th to 7^th. So-called ‘experts’ and media pundits had called for Arsene’s head, claiming that he’d lost the plot and that Arsenal were finished. ‘Arry Redknapp even suggested that the spuds could become London’s top club. Mugs. I’m ashamed to admit that a small minority of our fans also turned on Arsene using slogans such as ‘In Arsene We Rust’. Embarrassing.

Further impressive victories away at Wigan and Villa and RVP’s goal of the season winner against Everton at the Emirates in between, put us in good stead but nothing could prepare us for what was about to follow. In the space of a few days, we lost not one, not two, not even three but all four full-backs to injury which crippled us in the new year. We lost every league game in January and were then pummelled by Milan at the San Siro in what was the worst Arsenal performance I can remember in recent history.

With the North London Derby just days away, my thoughts turned into worries and my hope quickly turned to prayers but Bacary Sagna had other ideas, ‘we play Tottenham this weekend; they are the enemy - we cannot lose.’

What followed was quite incredible. 2-0 down after 35 minutes and the fans feared for the worst. Cue derby-day demolition. Sagna, RVP, Rosicky and a quick-fire double from Theo saw the Gunners smash five past the enemy. Spurs and Twitchmeister had no idea what hit them. North London is, and always will be, RED.

The victory spurred us on (see what I did there? clever) to an impressive run of consecutive wins which took us from 7^th to 3^rd, including a memorable day out at Anfield and impressive wins against Everton at Goodison and Newcastle at the Emirates. These last two games were won by goals from vice-captain, Tommy Vermaelen, who has been subject to some unfair criticism in recent weeks. Moans about how he roams forward gung-ho leaving obvious gaps at the back don’t sit well with me. I don’t think it’s his fault. It’s exactly those gambles which won us several points during the course of the season and other team-mates ought to be intelligent enough to cover him.

A home-defeat and a ‘thrilling-yet-frustrating’ home-draw against Wigan and Norwich respectively, saw us drop points in the run in to the final day of the season. Away to West Brom, Woy Hodgeson’s farewell match before England duty and a chance to secure Champions League funding again. It was fitting that Laurent Koscielny scored the winner at The Hawthorns – the most improved defender in the league, has fought bravely for Arsenal all season-long. Love our Larry.

As the final whistles blew around the country, the Premier League season came to an end. As expected, City won the league, Arsenal finished in a Champions League spot and we also continued our tradition of finishing above the scum. Incidentally, these obvious predictions won me several bets this year (mostly from deluded United and Spurs fans) - for anyone who still owes me winnings, my offer to accept a letter of written apology for doubting my prowess as a football genius, still stands.

In conclusion, considering the transfer debacle back in August, the awful start to the season, losing all full-backs for almost six weeks after Christmas, the media hype surrounding Arsene’s future and our ability, finishing 3^rd is satisfying. I do wonder whether this was more due to Arsenal’s strengths or our rivals’ failures. Some interesting points to mull over:

§  We finished 19 points behind the Champions

§  We conceded 49 goals in the league (only 4 less than Villa!)

§  Almost a third of our league goals were assisted by Song & Theo

§  Squad’s average age of 25 is youngest in Premier League

FK Arsenal Awards of Season…

Best Players

1.     Mikel Arteta (A simple, effective midfielder. Pulled all the strings by controlling the midfield, energetic and full of drive and determination, box-to-box and deliciously handsome).

2.     RVP (No explanation required, though many of you will wonder why no.2? Well, he’s an outstanding goalscorer – of this, there is no doubt but without the supply, he wouldn’t be half the player, hence Arteta no.1).

3.     Larry Koscielny (With exception to Vidic, the best defender in the league. In 29 of 33 league games he played, Arsenal kept 15 clean sheets conceding only one goal in the other 14, you’ll never beat him 1v1).

 Beautiful

Best Goals

1.     RVP v Liverpool (Anfield) – the pass, the finish, the timing, the venue. Boom.

2.     RVP v Everton (Emirates) – unbelievable volleying tekkers, super pass from Song. Magic.

3.     TV5 v Newcastle (Emirates) – Quick counter-attack, TV5’s driving run from his own box. Krul.

Best Game

We’ve had a few this year, the 5-2 mauling of Spurs, 3-0 win over Milan, 2-1 last-gasp victory at Anfield.. but for me, it has to be the away-day 5-3 win at Stamford Bridge. The 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford, by far the craziest game I’ve ever been to, will always haunt me for obvious reasons but our fans’ reaction by singing non-stop until the end made me proud to be a Gooner.

Best Moment

Thierry Henry’s winner against Leeds in the FA Cup at the Emirates. Quite unbelievable to see him come back, come on, bang home the winner in typical fashion. I remember everything; the pass from Song, the expectation as soon as TH12 took one touch and opened up his body, the roar of the crowd when the ball nestled in the bottom corner of the net and the stadium announcer going nuts. That night will stay with me for a long, long time.

Just in case the great man ever reads this: merci et au revoir, Titi x

Summer

RVP

Everyone seems to be an expert on RVP’s contract scenario and depending who you talk to, he’s either buying soft-furnishings for his new home in Manchester, or being told by his mum to sign at Arsenal, or secretly hiding in Arsene’s house holding him hostage until new signings are made. Truth is, nobody knows. Only RVP knows what he wants and whatever decision he makes I will respect. My opinion? Well, obviously, I would like him to stay. However, at 28/29 he has two, possibly three more top seasons left in him and he’s unlikely to better last season. Furthermore, when you consider that before this season he has played less than 200 games in 7 years, due to high injury proneness, is it unreasonable to consider selling him for £20m+?

Transfers

We need players. Simple as. However, we need to let a few go before we can buy! Almunia has left but Diaby, Bendtner, Denilson, Chamakh, Djorou, Squillaci, Fabianski, Vela and Park all remain on the club’s hefty payroll. Delighted about Podolski coming in, and I have fallen for the Twitter rumours about Yann M’Vila (more through hope than anything else), because a £16.5m deal for this guy on a 4/5 year contract is immense business for us. I’d also like a defender, both Vertonghen and Sakho remain possibilities, and a decent no.2 goalkeeper – Craig Gordon and Jussi Jaaskelainen are obvious candidates. Looks like it’ll be a long summer, Gooners. Let’s just hope the club learnt from last year’s mistakes.

What an incredible season. Highs, lows, tears, tantrums, hopes, fear, joy and ecstasy all rolled into one season and best of all, Arsene knew we’d be OK. You know, like seasons, women come and go but Arsenal FC is my one true love – always there for me as I am for them X

And that, my friends, is that. It’s been an absolute pleasure writing all season and I wish you all the very best for the future. Much love and good night!!

X

The Final Countdown...

2.20am. Sore hamstrings. Been re-enacting some of RVP’s finest goals from this season in the garden this evening in eager anticipation for tomorrow’s road-trip to West Bromwich Albion. I can’t bring myself to go to sleep and now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain…

The title race, Champions League qualification and relegation will be determined by the last round of matches in what has been the most unpredictable and enthralling season since English football was redefined in 1992. In fact, this current Premier League campaign was this week voted the best of its 20-year existence and today is set to provide a fitting finale.

As I write this, I am filled with mixed emotion; excitement, anxiety, fear and hope to name but a few. The thought of finishing below Tottenham sends shivers down my spine – surely we’re not that bad? The league table shows that we currently hold a slender advantage heading to West Brom in the race for third but our challenge has become more difficult with the Hawthorns ready to give Roy Hodgson an emotional farewell before he takes charge of England.

Twitchmeister’s Spurs lie waiting to pounce on any opportunity with a London derby against Martin Jol’s Fulham at White Hart Lane before them, while Newcastle are a point further back and face the toughest task in requiring nothing less than victory at Everton.

WBA away is a nerve jangler. The Norwich game showed just how willing we are to press the self-destruct button. Having managed to go 3-2 up after trailing the Canaries for much of the game, we failed to see out the final eight minutes without conceding. Inexplicably, we lost out shape entirely and were ultimately the architects of our own downfall. Alex Song had possession in midfield and instead of playing a simple pass either sideways or backwards, he tried something too clever and gifted Norwich the ball. Gibbs was caught out by the ball through to Morrison who lashed home the equaliser. A stupid, stupid goal to concede. Fortunately for us, Spurs bottled it at Villa Park the next day and so we have one final chance at guaranteeing 3^rd place but there’s little margin for error.

Upon consideration of our current injury problems, the team perhaps picks itself - with only one or two decisions for Arsene to make:

The biggest decision for me is who to play as wide men. It seems Gervinho’s been out of sorts since his return from the African Cup of Nations but I think he had glimmers of his best out on the left against Norwich. He’s quick & skilful and even boasts more goals and assists than a certain Bobby Pires had in his first season in England - just saying! Rumours are that Theo has travelled and passed part one of his fitness test but I’d probably keep him on the bench and go for The Ox out wide on the right. Despite Benayoun’s impressive recent form, I would go for The Ox purely because of his explosive pace which would pose a great threat to the Baggies’ defence.

It’s a must-win game. We can’t rely on others to bottle it again so our focus has to be right from the first whistle. The players need hunger, passion and desire. Despite the fact that Albion have lost nine games at the Hawthorns this season (only the bottom three have a worse record), they have conceded only 19 goals at home, the same as title contenders, Manchester United. The Baggies have beaten us just once in 39 years on home turf so let’s hope this run continues!

Finally, our skipper, RVP, has the chance to be celebrating more than just Champions League qualification if things go his way in our final match of the season. Various goal-scoring records are potentially within reach for the recently-crowned Footballer of the Year and they are worth noting. One more goal would see him equalling the all-time Premier League record for a 38-game season of 31, achieved by Alan Shearer in 1995-96 and Cristiano Ronaldo in 2007-08. It would also create a new club record for Arsenal in a 38-game season, taking him one clear of Thierry Henry, who scored 30 for The Invincibles of 2003-04. Remarkable.

I wrote on 14 August 2011 that I thought Arsenal would finish top four, above Spurs, and that Manchester City would win the title - I still believe this, so fingers crossed it will be a fitting end to what has been a gripping drama from the very start.

COME ON YOU RED MEN…

Love,

XX

Squeaky Bum Time…

Salutations, distinguished friends.

I’ve never thought of myself as materialistic but as I type this, I’m sporting Tommy Hilfiger glasses, a Gant jumper, a Ralphy tee, Diesel jeans, Gant socks, and a pair of Dunes. Interesting. Anyway, lots of random things to get through so I’m diving straight in.

Race for Champions League

Well, well, well.. Hasn’t it just got interesting. Arsenal were down and out. Media ‘experts’ were calling for Arsene’s head. Ex-players and pundits were convinced Arsene had lost his marbles. What do they know, eh? With two MASSIVE games to go, this is how the contenders stand:

(Source: Arseblog)

Looks nice that. Ahead of the yids. Ahead of the chavs. Need it to stay this way. Laaavly. We kick off the penultimate round of games tomorrow with a lunch-time clash against The Canaries. At the start of the season I’d have picked this game as a home-banker but they’ve done really well this year under Paul Lambert and pose a serious threat to our Champions League hopes for next season –just ask Tottenscum. If ever there was a time for a convincing win, it’s now. With many players missing through injury we’re up against it tomorrow but I’m feeling confident and let’s hope RVP can lead us to another valuable three points.

Interestingly, I think Arsenal [Norwich(h) & West Brom(a)], Spurs [Villa(a) & Fulham(h)] and Newcastle [City(h) & Everton(a)] will all drop points in these last two rounds of matches, with both North London rivals bagging 4 points and the Magpies picking up just one, so fingers crossed we get 3^rd.

Title Race

I have enormous respect for Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United. I think he’s done an unbelievable job winning title after title and has secured himself as the most successful manager in the history of English football. They play the right way, they do things the right way and they conduct themselves magnificently as representatives of the English Premier League when playing in Europe. They also produced Gary Neville, my latest man-crush (though obviously for his punditry) – what a goalgasm! ‘’UN-believable!’’

In the blue corner, whilst I obviously dislike the way Nasri left Arsenal, for me, City have the strongest squad on paper. I’m no gynaecologist, but I know a cunny when I see one - Carlos Tevez. He had let down his manager, his team-mates and most importantly, his fans after refusing to come on as a substitute earlier in the season. He then went AWOL for almost five months but has now returned acting as if he’s done nothing wrong.

I tipped Manchester City at the start of the season and I suppose I have to stick with them – but this isn’t so hard for one reason, and one reason only; my hatred for the majority of United fans. So many of these ‘fans’ have never even been to OT, rarely watch United play, don’t know anything about the club’s history, don’t know much about football to be honest, yet they bask in the glory of the club’s success. Am I jealous? Totally. The day will come when old whisky-face retires, the Glazers run with their money and they are no longer winning trophies – we shall see how many of those fans remain.

Transfers

Contrary to last summer’s madness, Arsene has already got his cheque book out, announcing a £10.9m deal for Lukas Podolski. Those who know me well will know that he’s genuinely one of my favourite players - bit like Giovanni Van Bronckhorst when he joined us from Glasgow Rangers. It’s a statement of intent and hopefully one more reason for RVP to sign that new deal.

I’ve written in previous blogs that we need to trim the fat from this squad and until this happens I can’t see too much room for new transfers; Almunia, Mannone, Squillaci, Chamakh, Park, Benayoun, Bendtner, Denilson, Diaby & Arshavin must be sold or destroyed, before we start dreaming about signing the likes of  Jan Vertonghen, Yann M/Vila and/or Eden Hazard. What is important is that Arsenal do their business swiftly and ideally before the Euros.

Finally...

Us Gooners talk a lot about Arsenal legends; Henry, Bergkamp, Vieira, Adams, Wright to name but a few. One perhaps we don’t appreciate as much as we should do is still at the club – Pat Rice.

Pat joined The Arsenal back in 1964 as an apprentice and made his debut just three years later. He made 528 appearances as right-back (only 7 of these as a substitute) across 14 glittering years. His proudest moment was captaining the team in 1977 and leading the club to FA Cup glory in 1979. In sixteen years as Arsene’s right hand man, Pat has helped guide us to three league titles, four FA Cups, various European finals and that ‘Invincibles’ season.

For almost 44 of the last 48 years, this man has bled red & white and for that we should be eternally grateful.

Thank you, Pat.

Poznan? Stop it. We’re taking the Mik-el...

Greetings!

Hope you’re all having an eggsellent Easter despite the miserable weather. It’s been a while but I’m back - better late than never, eh? An immediate spring in my fingers as Norwich go 1-0 up at the Lane. Let’s be ‘avin you!

It’s been a month since my last post. My sincerest apologies - I’ve been a very busy boy. An awesome holiday in New York & Washington DC during which I put on an unwanted 11.5kgs in just eight days, the return of Facejacker ‘ooohhh mr mohammedddd’, been to watch Shrek (the musical, not Wayne Rooney), the magical wedding ceremony of my good friend, Casanova Qureshi, and the eagerly anticipated return of BBQ season – what’s there not to be happy about? Not to forget the immense resurgence of my beloved club, rising like a phoenix from the ashes.

After a memorable trip to Anfield, we hosted AC Milan in the second leg of our Champions League tie. Trailing by four after an abysmal first leg at the San Siro, we braced ourselves for the comeback of all comebacks. I had written in my previous blog that I thought we had a genuine chance to overcome such a deficit but sadly, we fell just short, winning 3-0. As sad as I was that we had been eliminated, I was immensely proud of the boys. What an incredible performance, for me, the best we’ve played this season. From the KO there was a real hunger, a strong desire, and unbelievable drive about us on the night, so much so, that I walked away from the Emirates feeing utterly satisfied despite losing 4-3 on aggregate. Sounds so odd when I read that last sentence back but those around me at the Emirates that night will know what I mean.

*GOAL ‘GAP WATCH’: 1-1 SPUDS: Defoe (How does he not start more games?)

Having exerted ourselves for such an effort against Milan, I did worry about the risk of losing focus against a very tough Newcastle United team on Sky’s MNF. Two things, before I forget:

1.     Credit to Alan Pardew. Hasn’t he done well at St. James’? I had doubts about his appointment but he deserves praise for their season thus far – let’s hope they can pip the Spuds and Chelsea for 4^th.

2.     I love Gary Neville. Totally hated him as a player but what a superb pundit. Slightly irritating voice when co-commentating though nothing like Clive Tyldesley, who makes you want to stab your own ears. Neville is so refreshing. Kudos to Sky for an excellent addition to their squad.

It was a tough game against The Magpies. Incidentally, I’m a huge fan of Yohan Cabaye – plays with such wonderful guile and vision, reminds me a little of Cesc (nowhere near as good looking). We fell behind to a lovely goal by Hatem Ben Arfa, easily cutting in on his left and smashing past Szcz’s near post. Gibbs should have done better. Luckily for us, we have RVP who equalised within a minute of the restart with a neat finish. We then endured endless time-wasting by Newcastle goalkeeper, Tim Krul. He slowed the game down with every goal kick seeming to take an eternity. We were rewarded with ‘5’ minutes stoppage time and BOOM. TV5. As the clocked ticked past 93 minutes, Newcastle lost possession from a throw deep in our half by the corner flag. We won the ball back and broke light lightning. A Song one-two with Van Persie, spread out to Walcott, who’s cross was bundled in by the on-rushing, Tommy Vermaelen. What’s impressive about this goal is that you see TV5 setting off on a galloping run from his own penalty area. He had an air of ‘Sagna vs. Spurs’ about him. You know, that ‘enough of this shit, I’m going to win this for us’ look.

What a guy. Slam dunk.

*GOAL ‘Gap Watch’: 1-2 NORWICH: Bennett. Laaavly.

We then went on to pick up a very impressive three points at Goodison against a decent Everton side, courtesy of another match-winner from TV5. Goodison is one of my favourite away grounds. A good-old English traditional stadium where you can drink Bovril! David Moyes is a fantastic manager and I wish them all the best in the FA Cup. Let’s hope this can be their year. Goodison was quickly followed by a 3-0 victory over Villa at the Emirates to make it six wins out of six. Does anyone else think McLeish looks like a ‘sunburnt testicle’?

Whilst in New York, I bumped into Amit Bhatia (Co-Owner and Vice Chairman of Queens Park Rangers Football Club). We rowed in Central Park and had an insightful chat about his project at the club. I even teased him about getting tickets to the Emirates to watch a ‘proper’ team. Boy, did that come back to haunt me! We slipped up at Loftus Road losing 2-1, bringing our winning streak to an abrupt end. This was a timely reminder that despite six wins on the bounce and moving up to 3^rd in the league, there was still much to play for.

Yesterday saw the return of Samir Nasri to the Emirates for the first time in a Premier League match. As expected, he was jeered on every touch of the ball and was laughed at as he was subbed off following a mediocre performance. However, I am one of very few fans who didn’t boo him. Don’t get me wrong, I was angry when he left us but let’s get one thing straight… If someone offers to treble your salary and you refuse to move, then quite frankly, you are mad. Greed, my friends, is within us all and human nature is to always want more. He has no allegiance to Arsenal and so expecting him to stay was unreasonable. I have pleasant memories of him in a red shirt, always trying his best and fighting for the team. Furthermore, he even played well against Liverpool earlier this season knowing that he was leaving. It does make you realise how good Cesc made some players look though.

Emirates v Etihad. The game itself was terrific. A fine, solid Arsenal performance from which we more than deserved the three points. For me the game was won in midfield. Impressive shifts from Thomas Rosicky, Mikel Arteta, Alex Song and Yossi Benayoun all of whom pressured our opponents into making silly mistakes by closing tenaciously. With 86 minutes on the clock it looked as if we’d get our 3^rd consecutive 0-0 against Man City at home. Until, the most beautiful man in the Premier League had some of the Sagna mist. Robbing Pizarro, he picked up the ball, the wind in his hair, his unusually small feet poised for lift-off and BOOM. What a hit, son. What a hit from the monobrowed beaut.

My favourite part of the day was the Poznan celebration. Don’t Arsenal know how to take the Mik-el. Even the stadium is doing it..

Finally, one downside from the City victory is that Larry Koscielny picked up his tenth booking of the season which means he’ll miss our next two games; Wolves (a) and Wigan (h) but he will be back for Chelsea at the Emirates.

*FULL-TIME 'Gap Watch': Spuds 1-2 Norwich – Love that Delia lass. #BANGtidy.

Till next time, much love, stay hip.

XX

We came. We conquered. We KFC’d…

Greetings!

What a week. From CIPFA being crowned ‘Student Body of the Year’ at the prestigious PQ Awards, to Afternoon Tea at The Dorchester, I’ve had a thoroughly enjoyable and unforgettable few days, not to mention the football! Having been spanked 4-0 in Milan and then being dumped out of the FA Cup by Sunderland, there wasn’t much reason for joy or optimism but how quickly things can change in football.

Last Sunday we played host to ‘ze enemy’ as Bacary Sagna calls them. I prefer ‘yid twats’ – to put it politely. Personally, I couldn’t think of a better game to help resurrect our season. The media monkeys had even labelled this game as a defining moment for Arsene Wenger’s future. Morons. This is a man who has guided our club to Champions League football 14 years running whilst ensuring we finish above Spurs in the league every season. To put this into perspective, prior to Arsene’s arrival in 1996, Arsenal had only qualified for Europe’s elite cup competition a total of 12 times.

Now I know we’re yet to win the Champions League and you could argue that we’re nowhere near good enough to do so, but a seat at Europe’s top table offers huge financial incentives, incentives which have allowed us to move to our magnificent stadium. It annoys me how easily people dismiss the significant achievement of building a new, state-of-the-art footballing arena in London. Consider clubs like Liverpool and Tottenham. All we ever hear about are their plans to build new stadia, failed planning requests with local authorities and dreams of how they’ll be bigger and better than the Emirates. As per usual, it’s all talk and no action.

Which brings me back quite nicely to the North London derby. Comparing campaigns thus far for each participant: Spurs, currently 3^rd in the league, no Carling Cup, no Champions League and with these players widely viewed as their best squad in history, the 2011-12 season has been their 'best ever season'. For Arsenal, currently 4^th, no Carling Cup or FA Cup but still in Champions League - correct at time of writing (!), it’s our ‘worst season ever’.

Admittedly, I was nervous going into the match and for the first 35 minutes of the match, you could understand why. A very sluggish start supplemented by some scary defending and a diving baboon, gifted Spurs with a 2-0 lead at The Emirates.

** sorry, just need a moment to laugh at Spurs as United go 3-0 up at The Lane**

An unprecedented goal from Bacary Sagna, who’s celebration screamed. ‘right, I’ve had enough of these insufferable twats, let’s get on with it and let’s do them.’ For me, this set the tone for the remainder of the game. A few moments later we were level. Even Gary Neville was creaming himself as RVP banged in a screamer to put us level before the break. There was only one team in it for the second 45, with Thomas ‘Little Mozart’ Rosicky and Theo ‘no footballing brain’ Walcott contributing to the rout. Does anyone know what Rosicky took before the game? The man was on drugs, and what a performance. Only took him six seasons but what an unbelievable shift. My word.

My compilation of the Spurs match can be found here. Enjoy x

What impressed me most about this result was the manner of performance. Having realised we were in trouble at 2-0, we took the game to them, closing every ball with tenacity, attacking with pace & penetration and being ruthlessly clinical in front of goal. I was particularly pleased for Theo. He’s been getting a lot of stick in recent months, some of it deserved but some of it harsh. Chris ‘Einstein’ Waddle, once claimed that Theo doesn’t have a footballing brain. Certainly worked OK on Sunday and neither were ‘pelanties’. People forget that Theo is still only 22. On his day he is unplayable, just ask Croatia, various Champions League opponents, Chelsea, Liverpool and now Spurs. His problem is lack of consistency and he must address this, however all this said, he still boasts 39 goals in 132 starts – better than Gareth Bale’s 21 from 102.

Spurs fans should quickly take a photograph of the current league table. It’s squeaky bum time. You won’t be in the top four for long. Know your place; forever in our shadow.

Yesterday saw me head to Anfield for the first time. A fine stadium, which has played host to many memorable matches, was at full capacity for a mouth-watering lunchtime clash. On the back of the derby spanking, a win for the Gunners meant the gap between the two sides would stretch to 10 points.

Liverpool started very well, dominating the first half and even missed a generous penalty as Wojciech Szczesny made an impressive double save. There is no doubt  that Luis Suarez is a very gifted footballer, our defence unable to cope with his guile in front of goal on several occasions, but he is such an obnoxious, cheating twat. The scousers eventually took the lead after Laurent Koscielny put through his own net. I’m not going to dwell on that too much – it happens. Get over it. He has been our best centre-back for a while now and has saved us on more occasions than not. Liverpool could have been out of sight, only to be rebuffed by an impressive Szczesny and the post, and instead, we were quickly level when RVP headed in a marvellous cross from Sagna.

There was a lengthy delay at the start of the second half when Mikel Arteta suffered concussion and a jaw injury in an off-the-ball collision with Henderson. We’ll know more about his injury in due course and naturally we wish him well in the meantime. He has been a terrific signing for us and we need him back as quickly as possible. During the eight minutes of injury time RVP (his goal-scoring predictability as easy as wondering when Diaby will next be injured) latched on to a sublime pass from Song and he smashed the ball inside Reina’s near post. Cue battered knees and injured neck during wild celebrations in the Arsenal KOP. Euphoria.

As per tradition, we paid the Colonel a visit to celebrate in fine style before catching our train home to end a glorious day. We came. We conquered. We KFC’d.

In closing, some things in life will always bring me right back down to earth. In line with our chant for RVP, ‘he scores when he wants.. he scores when he waaaants, ROBIN VAN PERSIE, he scores when he wants’, I went home and when ma asked about dinner, I responded with, ‘I eat when I want.. I eat when I waaaant, I’m FK, I eat when I want’. She slapped me.

Much love x

The morning after the night before...

It’s 1.33am. I can’t sleep. No, not Temple Run (highest score is now 9.4m), but football. I need to write, right now, while the wounds are fresh. Not even tonight’s episode of TOWIE can take my mind off The Arsenal. 4-0. Emphatic. Arsene Wenger called it ‘a disaster’ and ‘shocking’, labelling it as ‘our worst night ever in Europe’. Tough to disagree. What went wrong?

As soon as our starting line-up was released on Twitter (@fkhanage), I turned to Yeamilson and expressed my dissatisfaction. The selection of Ramsey, Arteta, Song and Rosicky was surprising particularly as we have played with two offensive wingers supporting RVP all season. I wondered if this would have a detrimental impact on the team’s balance resulting in a more cautious approach and with hindsight, I think he got it wrong.

Four years ago, Arsenal became the first English side to beat AC Milan at the San Siro courtesy of a 2-0 second-leg victory that eliminated the then holders from the last 16 of the Champions League. It was a virtuoso performance of defensive efficiency and ruthless counter-attacking football. It was cool, classy and confident. Such is our decline from those hopeful heights of 2008, and such is our mental fragility following the inconsistencies of this season, that even despite a relatively assured opening 15 minutes, the moment we fell behind we fell apart. What followed was one-way traffic as defenders dithered and were dragged about with ease while possession-starved forwards looked on forlornly. Make no mistake. We got what we deserved.

Whilst Arsene may have made a mistake with his starting eleven, there is nothing he can do once the players cross that white line. The players have responsibilities; to fight, to give 100% effort and commitment and to demonstrate why they deserve to wear the shirt. But there was nothing. Outperformed in every position it came down to damage limitation and we were left feeling sorry for ourselves.

You could probably analyse and make reasonable excuses for each goal; extraordinary finish for the first, off-side for the second, an unfortunate  slip by Vermaelen for the third and an incredibly harsh penalty decision for the last but bottom line, we got spanked 4-0. After the game Arsene said, ‘we need to be realistic, we don’t play in dream world.. you have to say, we are out of the competition.’

However, I’m not convinced that this tie is over. Sounds mad, right? Just hear me out:

§  It is perfectly possible to score four goals at the Emirates;

§  We’ve beaten Champions League opponents by 4,5 and 6 in recent years; and

§  The team has NOTHING to lose which will relax us and perhaps even suit our play.

If there is any chance of turning this tie around, we need an Arsenal-of-old style performance. Remember the days at Highbury when we used to fly out of the blocks and take a 1 or 2-0 lead within the first quarter of an hour? The Emirates pitch will allow us to play our natural game and the quick tempo of our play may see Milan come unstuck. Needless to say, tactically, we must be spot on. My personal preference of formation would be:

We have to be bold and Arsene needs to be willing to make brave decisions e.g. dropping Walcott and starting The Ox. You may be surprised with my selection of Andrei Arshavin. Don’t be. This is a guy who’s best position is in the hole, behind the lead striker. Zenit built their team around AA23 and he was incredibly influential in the No.10 position. It is no surprise to me that his best performances in the famous red shirt have been when he’s been deployed in a central position providing numerous assists.

If we get off to a flying start and if decisions go for us on the night, then you just never know. What’s all the fuss about? We’ll do them 5-4!

Finally, we have a massive game in the FA Cup at Sunderland this Saturday and to make things worse, we’ve lost the impeccable Larry Koscielny to a knee injury. It’s too early to say how long he’ll be out for and it’s a devastating blow following Per Mertesacker’s tragic ankle injury. The players need to forget the result against Milan and concentrate fully on beating Sunderland for second time in a week. It’ll be a tough game and I fully expect Arsene to make changes with next weekend’s clash against Spurs in mind (eek!).

Much love Gooners, keep the faith.

Black Bin Bags to 7th Heaven…

I’m struggling to write this blog. Writer’s block you say? Um.. No. I’ve been playing Temple Run so much that I can barely see the screen on my laptop without having visions of a man running along ruined brickwork collecting coins. My eyes hurt and I feel dizzy. Intense gaming on my iPhone has given me chafed thumbs. It’s all been worth it though, I have surpassed the highest score of my biggest Temple Run rival, Gurveenho Singh.

Since my last post, we’ve played four games. As expected, we lost to Manchester United but upon reflection may be it wasn’t deserved particularly as I thought we were in the ascendency for much of the second period. Whilst there was never any danger of a repeat of our 8-2 humiliation at Old Trafford, defensive concerns were evident again. Djorou was picked as right back but may as well have been right back in the dressing room. His clumsiness led to United’s opener and Arshavin’s lack of urgency in defending led to Welbeck’s late winner.

Many Arsenal fans will remember this game for the ‘controversial’ substitution in the 74^th minute. When The Ox’s number went up there were deafening boos from the Arsenal faithful. For me, this was a watershed moment. It felt huge. Not just from a footballing point of view, as the reaction itself was aimed at Arsene Wenger. Never has there been such a display of mutiny towards the manager. Admittedly, the youngster had been our best attacking player but according to Arsene, The Ox had started to fatigue and overstretched his calf. With hindsight, the change makes perfect sense. On this note, I am puzzled by the reaction of some fellow fans. On the one hand, they become angry when our players keep getting injured but on the other hand they criticise when players are rested or taken off as a precaution. Consider Jack Wilshere. Here’s a boy who made 49 appearances in his first season, as an 18 year old. As a result, he’s now crocked and has missed the majority of this campaign. Arsene is in a lose-lose situation.

Sandwiched in between the aforementioned defeat and a goalless draw at Bolton, was a thrilling FA Cup victory over Aston Villa at the Emirates. 2-0 down at half-time, the boys responded superbly in the second half to win 3-2. No idea what Arsene said or did at half-time but it worked a treat. We now face a trip to the north-east to face either Sunderland or Middlesbrough. The 0-0 at the Reebok was a bizarre game. We endured a frustrating evening as we failed to break the deadlock. The game saw 30 shots on goal, yet neither team could find the back of the net.

At the weekend, we hosted Blackburn Rovers. Fellow Gooners will remember the painful 4-3 defeat at Ewood earlier this season. This was payback. My father (FK Senior) joined me for this game and what a game we saw.

RVP’s hat-trick, two goals from The Ox, Mikel Arteta’s strike and TH12’s late goal saw Arsenal thump Blackburn 7-1. I’d like to take this opportunity to mention those fans who had jeered Arsene at the United game, those who had also threatened to protest with black bin bags were the same fans celebrating and enjoying our victory. We all know football fans are fickle but this bi-polar support must stop - it’s not doing anyone any good. We must get behind our beloved team and be prepared to judge Arsene & co in the summer – the league table always lies until May.

That said, I’m not going to get carried away following the thrashing of Blackburn. After all, it’s only three (valuable) points but what a timely boost in confidence. But it shouldn’t come as any surprise. Arsene’s been saying it all along, players are beginning to return from injuries and with Gervinho due back after The ACN, I’m feeling optimistic.

Our next league game sees us travel to Sunderland – the most in-form team over the last ten games in the Premier League. Martin O’Neill’s boys have picked up 22 points from a possible 30 and this will provide a stern test for our resurgence. And an away trip in the Champions League to AC Milan follows just days later… Exciting times my fellow Emirati! X

Feature: Ambrose James Quashie - 'The trials and tribulations of a disaffected Arsenal fan'

I was asked by the venerable Faisal Khan to put down a few thoughts about my beloved Arsenal and when I started I couldn’t stop, so here goes…

The first Arsenal match I went to was ironically George Graham's last as manager - a soporific 1-1 draw against Leicester at Highbury where Ian Selley broke his leg. Those were the days when you could get a ticket as a Junior Gunner for £5 (more on ticket pricing later).
 
Those were also the days when Arsenal were as parsimonious in the transfer market as they are now: refusing to pay Chris Sutton £10k a week before he ended up at Blackburn; losing out on the likes of Andy Sinton (probably no big loss); and going further back, Tony Cottee.  So financial caution at the ‘Bank of England club’ is certainly not a phenomenon confined to the Wenger era.
 
However, I am by no means a Wenger apologist.  I believe the man has flaws that mean the option of sacking him should be very firmly on the table just like it was for the Monaco board in 1994.
 
And let's look at Wenger's time at Monaco. He took charge of a team that was to be in the shadow of a powerhouse in Marseille, which boasted great players in the shape of Boli, Deschamps and Desailly, and won the Champions League in 1993, the first and only French side to do so (ok, under nefarious circumstances, thanks to Monsieur Tapie, I accept).

Wenger was adept at bringing in high calibre players such as Weah, Hoddle, Hateley and Klinsmann, and giving them the platform to perform at the highest level. The zenith of this philosophy was a French title in his first season in charge (1988), a French Cup and a Champions League semi final.  Then Monaco’s fortunes declined seeing them drop to 9^th place in the 1993/94 Ligue 1 standings, after finishing runners up in each of the previous three seasons.  Sound familiar?  Wenger was sacked by Monaco (and, no, I don’t think that sacking Wenger would eventually lead to Arsenal being relegated to the Championship as Monaco have been to Ligue 2), moved to Japan before ending up a club in North London, and the rest is history.
 
Or is it?  The fact is that in the here and now, despite his fantastic achievements (which I by no means wish to denigrate), Wenger is presiding over the decline, on the playing side at least, of a great club.
 
Gone are the quality players that drove us to unprecedented success in the late 90s and early 00s, replaced by players developed in the petri dish that is the Colney Crèche (shout out to Myles Palmer for that phrase).
 
Wenger had a dream like MLK.  But while MLK dreamt of a society of racial and social equality, Wenger's dream was a football world of financial equality (albeit in an Orwellian Animal Farm sense) free from the 'financial doping' of Russian oligarchs and Arab sheikhs.  But, alas as we've seen over the past few years and weeks, both society and the football world remain very much unequal.  
 
Wenger's response to this increasing football inequality, a response which was also largely influenced by the financial pressures of moving to the Emirates, was to adopt a philosophy to pluck young players from clubs all over the world and indoctrinate them into the Arsenal way.  This, according to the theory, would help them to develop a strong love for the club ensuring commitment lasting throughout the best years of their careers.  As the past few summers have shown it hasn't quite worked out that way with players jumping ship before they'd reached their peak, most brutally illustrated last year by Messrs Fabregas and Nasri.
 
So why has this happened? Why has the Wenger philosophy, in my opinion, proven to be fatally flawed? 

Well, firstly because most of these players had no inherent love or desire to play for Arsenal in the first place. They were attracted to the club due to the fact they were paid more than any club at that time would have been prepared to offer them and there was the promise of a fast track to first team football.  However, like most footballers, they were driven by a desire for success, the type of success that isn't demonstrated by finishing in the top four every season but by winning trophies.  So is it any surprise that when the so called bigger clubs come calling the factors that motivated them to leave, in many cases, their home town clubs to come to Arsenal are the same factors that motivate their desire to leave the club?  Any love they may have developed for Arsenal is greatly overridden by these factors.
 
Secondly, because of a significant lack of experience in certain areas of the team.  The young players haven’t been given the right platform to express themselves due to there not being enough experienced players to guide them through tough moments in games and seasons.  Done away with were the likes of Vieira, Pires, Henry, Campbell and Gilberto before their time had come; players who knew what it took to live up to the expectations of playing for Arsenal (taught to them by the likes of Adams, Bould, Keown et al.) and could have imparted their considerable experience on our young players.
 
Alan Hansen once famously opined that you never win anything with kids, in reference to the Man Utd title winning side of 1995/96.  And you know what, he was absolutely right.  Because while that team had young players like Beckham, Scholes, Giggs et al., they also had experienced warriors like Cantona, Pallister, Bruce, Irwin and Schmeichel.
 
Wenger clearly didn't learn this lesson.  But to compound his error he over invested in remunerating these young players, before they’d proven themselves, so we're now in a situation where the likes of (the perennially injured) Diaby and (the perennially underachieving) Walcott are earning £60k a week, further limiting our ability to be competitive in the transfer market.
 
So when I see our team shorn of its experienced quality, replaced by handsomely rewarded and pampered youngsters who show no sign of delivering the goods, I despair.
 
I also despair because there was another dream.  A dream that the move to a new stadium would give Arsenal the financial clout to buy the very best players, thereby putting us in the upper echelon of world football.  But the reality has been very different.  Continuous bargain basement shopping (Park and Chamakh spring to mind) while Arsenal charge Harrods ticket prices.  And that's the difference between the old and new age Arsenal parsimony.  In the old age, the fans were not as financially fleeced (going back to my £5 Junior Gunner ticket price, approximately £8 in today’s money) as they are in the new age (to maintain the comparison, Junior Gunner tickets now cost at least £14).
 
Last summer was the final straw for me. Ticket prices went up by 6.5%, significantly above both CPI and RPI inflation, and we sold arguably our two best players for circa £60m with no commensurate re-investment in the squad.
 
So my response is to vote with my feet.  I refuse to pay money to watch Arsenal (ok, I still pay my Sky subscription) or purchase any merchandise.  And this boycott will continue until I see investment on a level that befits a club of our status.  Does that make me a 'fair weather' supporter as some people would claim?  No, I reject that charge ferociously.  I'm simply a long standing supporter who loves his club, still a Junior Gunner at heart, but has become disillusioned with the direction my club is taking and feel that this stance is the only way I can make my little voice heard.

I could write more about what (and who) exactly needs to change but I think I’ve gone on for long enough, so that’s a debate that will need to be deferred to another time (another blog, perhaps).

Anyway, it's been a blast doing this guest blog and I hope my views hold some resonance with some of you. If not, I still thank you for taking the time to read my, probably, incoherent ramblings.  Peace out.